yesterday i went running with my neighbor sammy to the library, and while i was waiting for him to finish playing his computer games, i saw a book on the shelf called "there was an old lady who swallowed a pie." i did a double take because dude, it's supposed to be "there was an old lady who swallowed a FLY," not a pie. i still remember in first grade when the teacher taught it to us, and we all carried around a picture of a different animal and chanted "there was an old lady who swallowed a fly, i don't know why she swallowed a fly, perhaps she'll die!" and when you think about it it's kind of depressing, but at least you know it's kind of fictional because who swallows a cow and pig and other animals whole right? right, not possible. ANYWAYS, i was reading this book about this lady who swallows pie and perhaps dies, and it's about thanksgiving. and first she swallows a pie, then a turkey, then a pot or something, then a cake, etc. and as she eats she gets fatter and fatter and fatter until she's this big chunky nasty blob. i must mention that the first thing to get super duper big is like, the upper area of her body ahem, and it just looked really disturbing. and like, i wouldn't have minded the offensive change from fly to pie as much if she had eaten weird things, but some of these things were legit things you eat during thanksgiving. like bread or turkey. and at the end of each page it said, "perhaps she'll die." now how is that for disturbing? kids will read the book and refuse to eat thanksgiving dinner because first off, they don't want to die, even if the books says
perhaps. because perhaps means there's a chance no? and they don't want to be like this monstrous old lady, rolling around on the ground, bigger than an elephant. yah no joke. so anyways, there's my rant. i'm done with this old lady.
today is thanksgiving. for some reason, i'm not feeling very thankful. i don't know, my head and heart are feeling kind of muddled, like someone dipped a spoon in and mixed everything up. i don't know if that even makes sense. it's just a feeling of restlessness, like something is going to happen (good or bad i don't know) and i'm anticipating it. but at the same time i'm not sure what i should be feeling. oh Lord, what does it all mean? i can't quite make sense of it.
a prayer that i read (first from tim shin's blog then someone else's) that comes from valley of vision: a book of puritan prayers. it's beautiful and is such an encouragement. feels like cool water to a thirsty soul.
Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly,
Thou has brought me to the valley of vision,
Where I live in the depths but see Thee in the heights;
Hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold Thy glory.
Let me learn by paradox
That the way down is the way up,
That to be low is to be high,
That the broken heart is the healed heart,
That the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
That the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
That to having nothing is to possess all,
That to bear the cross is to wear the crown
That to give is to receive,
That the valley is the place of vision.
Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells,
And the deeper the wells the brighter thy stars shine;
Let me find thy light in my darkness,
Thy life in my death,
Thy joy in my sorrow,
Thy grace in my sin,
Thy riches in my poverty,
Thy glory in my valley.
i long to be in this valley.
