Self-Visualization Project

My outer identity has always changed a little with each place that I move to. I have been all over the place, starting with West Virginia then Japan then California and finally New Jersey. Each time I moved I had to readjust, to face myself once more and ask the questions that everyone at one point has asked: Am I likeable, what are my strengths, and how do I make new friends? Even though my environments were always shifting however, one thing remained steady. My identity as a Christian and as a child of God has been with me through the years, and for that I am eternally grateful.

For my self-visualization project I want to do a mural representing all the sides of me. Humanity, I feel, is always unpredictable. We have our mood swings, our ups and downs. Even the kindest, most steady person, is not always that way. I can speak up for myself and wouldn’t call myself shy, but I have always been afraid of a lot of things and moving around has forced me to step outside my comfort zone. Childhood fears of water and clowns and my sister’s face hanging upside down on the monkey bars have evolved into something less tangible. I think that often I fear the future—what it holds and my role in life and in the lives of other people. I fear what others think of me, why I act the way I do sometimes. I know though, despite my doubts and misgivings, I am loved by the creator of the universe, which is an awesome thing.

I plan to do a four panel mural, each panel representing each place I have lived. Each panel will have a photo of me, simply standing, at each stage of my life (age 3, 8, 13, 18) looking out at the audience. There should be a gradual increase in height, showing that in each time period I am getting older, growing taller, loosing the baby fat you could say too. I want these photos to be obviously photos...something very real. Maybe they can be in black and white. Around the photo however, I will use photoshop to add buildings, food, events etc. I want many of the images however, to be personal photographs from that actual time. In this way it would actually be sort of an autobiography. Each panel would be specifically distinct from the other, but there will be a piece of string running through each panel, and on the string will be words, a Bible verse, that spans in width all four panels.