When things fall apart

Why does it feel like things are falling apart? It feels like the knitted blanket that surrounded us some time ago is unraveling, unraveling, being pulled by some invisible dark force bent on destruction, planting seeds of lies. The father of lies. And in heaps all around us are yard and yards, miles and miles of yarn, connected but apart and broken and split. What purpose does it serve just lying there unwoven. It cannot clothe, cannot cover, cannot be washed, cannot offer warmth to a heart dry and aching. And oh, it sits there, rotting under a tarnished sun. I wish I could pick up those double swords and knit deep into the inky night, but my hands bleed and my heart weeps and I can't even see the needles so they prick my fingers, pinpoints of red, and there are gaping holes that open to engulf me in a tide of helpless thoughts. The father of lies.

How can it be like this? The church should be together, unified, like each stitch of the needle, one after the other, soldiers prepared for a holy war, and each member is needed, essential to complete the body. Instead I see all these ugly holes, and something in me trembles with the unwavering feeling that this is not how it should be. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.

in Him all things hold together. Oh Lord, please hold us together, reconciling us to you and to one another in your name.

The other day I was looking at journals in the bookstore to buy one for a friend, and I came across a beautiful one with gold flowers, and embossed on the front were these words: "believe in yourself." I know it means believe that you have the ability to do great things; it's meant to be a self-esteem booster. But if I were going to take it literally, this is what it would look like: Believe that I can do all things through myself who gives myself strength. Believe that through believing in my abilities I can overcome all things and cure all my illnesses of health and soul and mind. "Believe in yourself" translates to "I can save myself," which is a lie lie lie. It makes me so sad that our world spouts this nonsense instead of placing their trust, their belief in someone who is so much more capable, and who holds us, and the universe in the palm of his hand.