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There are many different types of rain, and today's is a cold rain. Not the mind numbing sort that hurries you to your next destination without time to think because your hand is shaking and your shoes are squeaking. It's the head clearing kind of cold.

Sin is a slippery thing. One action in isolation may not be a sin, but repeat it a ten times, twenty times over, and it begins to take control. It becomes a gnawing hunger, a bottomless pit that is insatiable. God takes the backseat and the addiction takes the steering wheel. Things begin to feel unsafe but you keep driving anyway. I run red light after red light an it becomes reckless, but still it continues. Until I crash hard. It's inevitable. My head snaps back, whip-like, and the airbag promptly punches me in the face. And then Jesus is there securing my neck and wiping my shocked tears away, but I can't even look at Him because I feel so ashamed. It would be perfectly in His right to sit there, arms folded like so and a smug I told you so look on His face. But that's not who my Jesus is. I ask Him why He's doing this. He, who made the universe and painted the skies and exists in all eternity could crush me with His fingernail. Instead, He chooses to attend to this dumb sheep who, despite being free to roam the pastures, chooses to chase after wolves in the woods.

I understand what temptation is, and what it does to me when I succumb, but I don't understand why I keep going back to it. Why, when I'm free in Christ, I often choose to go back to being in bondage, a slave to sin. It's ridiculous. Yet you see it so often in humanity. There's the abused wife that leaves her husband but then goes back to him, the child sex slave that escapes from the brothels but returns later voluntarily. It's frightening. And that's just it. I think it's fear that drives humanity back to it's shackles because they see the light but feel so unworthy of it and are scared to be seen after being unseen for so long. So they run. Back to what they know, not to what could be.