Stuck

What do you do when a non-believer asks you what Jesus says about hell, and you tell him what the Bible has to say about it, and he feels condemned and angry for saying what it's saying? Anger is the right response...if the person didn't feel condemned and judged then I would think that there is something wrong. But dang it if there was an easier way, if the truth were easier...but truth is never easy. It's not easy to look into your heart and acknowledge all of the sin that is there. I'm having a really hard time sharing the gospel with my neighbor. If we were peers then it might be easier, but he is a father, very intellectual, giving, kind, and very critical of Jesus and my beliefs. I feel small and inadequate, naive about the world and not sure of what I can do to help or make a difference. When he asks me about what Jesus says about hell, what else can I do but give an account of what I believe? There is no sugar-coating hell, though sometimes I wish there were. In his blog, Michael C Patton off of the GospelCoalition says it well:

"I have gone on record saying that I hate the doctrine of Hell. If there is anything in my theology that I could discard—if there was a theological “burn card”—it would be the doctrine of eternal punishment. It causes me great anxiety and disillusionment. I am sorry if that makes some of you uncomfortable, but that is just the way it is. That is me.

That is why I am somewhat jealous of people who can find their way out of this doctrine. That is why, in one sense, I am envious of those who have found ways to adjust or deny the existence of the eternal punishment of the unredeemed. Would that I could follow them, but my conscience will not yield to my emotions and allow me to."

So God give me faith to stand firm in my faith while speaking in compassion and love. Show me my own sin to convict me further of the great depravity of human nature, and that truly "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," and that by grace alone we are saved. Help me to only be satisfied with pleasing Christ, not man, and to pursue truth in every circumstance. Give me wisdom and insight beyond my years to be able to speak your truth, and if I am hated for it then so be it.

I pray that I can claim the promise written in Romans 5:2-4, "Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope for the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."

Self-Righteousness and Forgiveness

Even though I know I am saved by grace, and grace alone, sometimes I still fall back into the works based attitude. This is the way our society functions, this kind of give and take consumerism mentality. Rewards are given for good behavior, and punishments for bad. Or if I give to and love someone, he or she will instinctually know how to give and love me back. I walk in with an unspoken expectation of how I should be treated once I give my share of affection to a person. Expectations can be both good and bad. Few expectations can mean that you think little of a person and don't expect much from the relationship while too many expectations can be too idealistic and seriously damage the relationship. Too many expectations also calls into question whether you're setting this person up on a pedestal to take God's place. The problem here is not necessarily the expectation, but the unspoken expectation. This is especially true between family members. Because they're your family, they should just KNOW, right? Wrong. My way of dealing with conflict is avoidance, not confrontation, so when I feel like I have been wronged, I hold it inside rather than expressing my hurt. I think that there are two reasons for this: 1) I don't want to cause trouble, and in a way it's easier to just (try) to let it go. 2) I have the wrong thought that sucking in my pain is the more noble path to take than mentioning it and possibly damaging the relationship beyond repair. 3) I've seen explosive anger before and it's horrible for everyone involved. I'm afraid of being that way.

Each time my feelings are hurt it accumulates in a self-righteous bank account that I bring to God and say, this person has hurt me in this way when I've tried so hard to be good to them. Help me to forgive, but also help them to realize what they did without me having to say anything so that I can avoid confrontation and makes this whole thing easier, okay? Okay, Amen.

Surely, God can convict individually, but in some situations it's like asking God for food when bread is right there on the table. Often times the person has no clue that they offended you. The person is right there, so why not express your feelings and try to reconcile? When hurt builds up and is not talked about, it can easily become resentment, and more sin is heaped on. People lash out in anger over inconsequential things because of the acquired hurt. Reconciliation is a huge part of fully forgiving someone, because each side knows what the other person did wrong, mutually acknowledges it, and forgives. The words, "I'm sorry," and, "I forgive you," are so incredibly neglected. When did we reduce the words "I'm sorry" to the half whine of a reluctant five year old forced to say sorry by monitoring adults? The power of these simple words and the meaning of it is manifested in Christ on the cross. It is my salvation. It's essential to practice sorrow and forgiveness not only to God but to fellow brothers and sisters and non-Christians. It's so hard, but often the way out is through. Through being hurt and talking about sin and being reconciled with one another. Christ never promised that it would be easy, but in the toughest parts of life, He promised to get us through them, and that we will never be alone. He's there to show us the way.