I ran a race on Saturday in Titusville on the D&R canal path. I didn't go into it with much confidence because it has been cold these days and I should have run more to prepare but lacked the motivation. Yes, even the anticipation of a race wasn't enough to motivate me to run long distances. But nevertheless I went, because I said I would. The starting horn blew and off we went, at first slowly because of the thick crowd, but eventually the bottleneck effect diminished and the pace became more steady. Focus on breathing, I kept telling myself. In through the nose out through the mouth to avoid cramps. Stay behind this girl, right behind her on her heels. Not to her side or halfway between side and behind. Directly behind. Don't waste energy on extraneous steps. Swing the arms back in forth, relaxed. The girl in front of me kept an even steely pace, and whether she eventually sped up or whether I slowed down, I'm not sure. I didn't stay with her, not because I was really that tired but because I figured I had enough distance left in the race to catch up eventually. So I decided to pace with the next girl after her. I wasn't clear how much distance had been covered already, but the end came faster than I had anticipated. And the girl I was pacing with sped up, but I figured I had time to catch her and was storing up my energy for the very last stretch. But what I didn't realize was that I was already in the middle of the last stretch. Shoot, is that the finish already? Why is there a crowd? Oh my gosh it's the finish! I quickly sped up because I had energy left, and I closed the gap between me and the girl in front of me, but it was too little too late. The fight ended before it had started. You're not supposed to have energy left at the end. You're supposed to expend it all in the final fight. Another 30 meters in the race and I could have caught up to her and passed her, I think. But it was over.
Prizes were awarded for 1st, 2nd and 3rd place of each age group, and the girl right in front of me ended up getting 3rd place for our age group (20-29). It could have been me. I was at once frustrated and annoyed, but it was my own fault. I tried to justify it, telling myself that it's no big deal. It's only a race, and there's always next year right? True. In life we're given a lot of second chances for each situation, but when it comes down to it, we only have one life on earth. I don't want to get to the end of my life and realize that it wasn't a life well lived, a race raced without a clear purpose. I was so concentrated on getting the details down right that I forgot the bigger picture of racing for the prize. To do the best that I can do and not get bogged down by the trivial things. And what exactly does a good life, a good race look like?
1 Corinthians 9:26 Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air.
1 Corinthians 9:25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.
I believe that this training involves a lot of discipline, which I severely lack, and a lot of love, which I am in not great abundance of either. If I do, it's only through Christ and not by my own nature. And the prize, oh the prize! Run in such a way as to get the prize, the crown that would last forever. One that does not tarnish or collect dust like my old xc and track trophies, packed away in a shoebox in the back of the closet.
Acts 20:24 However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me--the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.
I admit I haven't been testifying, fully attesting to the power of the gospel and how it has changed me in my own life. But I am so encouraged that at my weakest moments, despite my greatest efforts to thwart or disobey, or rebel against a God who loves me, nothing can separate me from Christ. I may be running at a crawl (okay, that's not really running haha), but I'm not lost on the wrong trail. The most important picture, an illuminated path, the gospel, is unchanging.
No comments:
Post a Comment