self-portrait

on the first day of my conceptual art class, my teacher asked us to give a one sentence self-portrait. she did not mean a laundry list of characteristics, she meant one line on your identity as a person. what a loaded question..and we only had about 3 minutes to do it too, go figure. not long enough if you ask me. so there i was, wracking my brains for a witty, clever answer. i wanted to impress my teacher, first impressions going a long way and all. 1 minute, 2 minutes, 2 1/2 minutes ticked by, and i started to get nervous. i could not come up with anything remotely satisfactory. in the last ten seconds, this is what i quickly scrawled, "I am just a girl, and a girl that doesn't know much, but this I do know: Jesus Christ, my Lord loves me." and as i turned that paper in, i felt disappointed. i felt like it wasn't a good enough, clever enough answer.

since that class 2 weeks ago, i've had some time to think about why i felt what i felt. i'm not ashamed of being a Christian, not ashamed of Jesus, but i think i am afraid of being a fool. i am afraid of being looked down upon, regarded as obtuse and unintelligent. what i failed to realize then and what i'm starting to realize now is that to be a Christian is to look foolish in the eyes of the world. 1 Corinthians 1:26-31 says,

"For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.""

God chose me, foolish girl that I am, to be a witness to the world. and i'll look dumb, i really will. Christ crucified is foolishness, a stumbling block for non-believers, and i can't do anything about that. fortunately, God can. i'm learning, slowly but surely, that in the eyes of the world, i'm not that big of a deal, and that's not that big of a deal. so i am a fool, but hopefully a fool that loves God and loves my neighbor.

so i ordered one of my textbooks about 3 weeks ago and it STILL hasn't come. so i finally called usps today to see if they could tell me what happened to it. the first two times i called i got automated messages. you know, those annoying voices that say, for blah blah blah press one, for blah blah blah press 2. you get the picture. anyway, after trying two telephone numbers, getting robot voices, putting in my tracking number with no fruition, i finally got frustrated or as anne shirley would say, i was in the depths of despair (i know i know, a little too dramatic). when the robot girl asked for my tracking number yet again, i said angrily, "it's not working!." those robots are pretty smart because i think she got the picture. there was a pause, then, "please hold as we transfer you to an assistant." thank goodness for that. i talked to a real, live person, hallelujah! she figured out that the person wrote the wrong zip code, off by a digit, and it probably shipped to the wrong place. lost in translation. so many things are lost in translation, languages, rumors, directions, traditions, the Gospel. it really can be detrimental. i guess i should be thankful, it's just a book that's lost, not a person. oy vey.

i need to start taking more pictures. if only i felt like they were any good...haha.

found this sweet sweet video promoting typophile film festival. as a graphic designer, this is what i aspire to be!

Typophile Film Festival 5 Opening Titles from Brent Barson on Vimeo.

tiffany